[[Side Notes: Fears
Hah! The irony that I posted about being afraid of HORIZONTAL STRIPED CLOTHES:
Thank you Shape for reassuring me that I can wear these stripes, not that I ever couldn’t in the first place!
Did I also mention that I’m also afraid to accessorize?
It’s kinda weird when I think about why I don’t accessorize…it’s because I believe it makes me stand out too much. I feel like it attracts people to me and I never am one to want attention. Attracting people, even if it’s as simple as being at a family gathering, terrifies the hell out of me. There is something about the whole “attraction/attracting” aspect that makes me so nervous I want to run away. No joke. It comes along with things like meeting new people, going to a new place and trying new things.
I have always wanted to accessorize but like I said, I’m too afraid. Even something as simple as wearing a necklace or dangly earrings. Any suggestions? What do you ladies accessorize with??? ]]
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Yay for it being the weekend! I know I’m excited for some time off as it’s been a long week out in the field with the temps climbing up into the 90’s…yikes! Which reminds me, do you ladies moisturize? The summer heat is killing my skin, everywhere from my face, to my fingers, heals, back, legs and knees! I really need suggestions for products and stuff to use to help out my skin! It’s so dry it’s painful after I take a shower or clean my skin off (I’m always covered in sunscreen and dirt, it’s ridiculous!)
Yesterday was absolutely crazy though. Well, work was fine, hot and tedious sine we didn’t find the things we were looking for. I was tired so walking a bit of a drag as all I wanted to do was sleep…but we got our plots done and it was time to get home!
[[Side Note: When Anxiety/Stress Hits
But as soon as I got cell reception all hell broke lose. Let’s just put it this way, I made the decision to drop +$700 for a new laptop only to encounter a problem between the company and my credit card company that meant me spending hours on the phone calling both back and forth and back and forth to straighten things out.
To say the least, I WAS FURIOUS. I have been having computer problems and really just wanted to get the damned new one and move away from the frustration of the old one. I was soooooo angry. There were lots of loud and elongated “ugggggg!!!” and “ahhhhhh!!!” throughout the evening and trying to find things to cool me down from my rampage. I turned off the computer to get away from the things I needed to get done on there but couldn’t concentrate on, but alas I was still a wreck.
So I took a second to sit back and breath.
A lot of very very very deep breathes. Like, the kind everyone can hear. And all with my eyes closed. And it definitely helped. And then I read some magazines…to try and settle my nerves while waiting anxiously for calls I knew would only bring bad news.
As much as the breathing helped, the first thing that came to mind was wanting to stuff my face. Crazy right? But along with the idea of stuffing my face came the idea of wanting to hurt my body, by restricting and exercising to boot. It was a huge catch 22 that I was able to escape with only a little bit of damage, as I came out with two handfuls of trail mix and two handfuls of cinnamon puffins.
I’m not letting myself get caught up in that because as it was happening, I was aware of it and discussing with myself about why it was happening, why it was happening, how it made me feel and if it was really worth it and something I truly wanted to eat and wanted to do.
So, I was able to stop.
I call that progress, don’t you think? It was definitely an experience that helped me learn how to deal with a flood of emotions that I normally would have used destructive habits to retaliate. ]]
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Alas, I finally got things straightened out and hopefully my computer will be here sometime next week, fingers crossed. I still needed a bit of something to help me relax so I figured, why not go for a leisurely swim? I wanted to use the pool at my complex but there were a lot of people there, so I headed over to the high school to use their lap pool, splurging with the $5 it cost to use it for an hour. I did some freestyle and breaststroke and then used a board to do some kicking exercises over the length of the pool. It was nice and quiet in there and helped me zone out.
So, today, Saturday, is a new day and I have fun things planned! I have a tai chi class in a few hours that I’m going to run to to get a nice leisurely run in and relax the day away at the pool with my magazines…what better day could I ask for!? Tomorrow though, will include my long run! I’ve got a running plan worked out to get me through work and training for the many upcoming races I’ve scheduled myself for!
Anyhow, I started this morning off fresh with a nice relaxing breakfast that is different than what I’ve been having all week long! My mom got me an asian pear at the market last weekend that I finally broke into this morning! As much as I love them eating a whole one is just too much, so I diced up half of one and had it with a few strawberries, plus a piece of Cinnamon Swirl Bread via TJ’s with some natural PB.
Don’t hate that I took the picture on my floor. It had the best lighting. But that’s going to change as I’m going to be working on a little photography project this weekend too! Yippee!
I’m off to get ready to release my “chi” and relax the day away!
Have a great Saturday!!!
P.S. I soaked and cooked some white beans yesterday. Who loves white/navy beans?! How do you like to eat them!?
17 comments:
i love navy/white beans - toss them in with brown rice and salad dressing for a quick meal.
i've been rocking horizontal stripes this entire film shoot!
Congratulations on your progress! So proud of ya. I think that calls for some horizontal stripe celebration! Lol. :) As for accessories, I love them...mostly necklaces & earrings. Instead of attracting attention, I think of them as completing my outfit. -cw
Most of the time I wear my oar necklace from rowing, my college class ring and a pair of earrings...but since I wear the same items almost every day, I don't really think of them as accessories, rather I consider them the same as my watch-just a part of what I wear.
Navy beans...cook them with some sage, rosemary and thyme, a bit of salt and then eat with quinoa...so delicious. You can put them over salad too after you add the herbs.
Moisturizer is a hard one. I use bag balm in the winter (NH winters are cold and dry) and that works well for chapping and cracking. Udder cream also works really well for moisture. Both are products actually made for cow udders, but they work really, really well for hands and heels and other parts of people too (cow udders have quite soft skin, so the creams are gentle). There's a local company up here that makes really nice balms...send me your mailing address and I'll post off some hand balm for you! :)
Well done for managing to catch yourself out without going down that destructive road- believe me, I've been there and know how difficult that is!
I'm a big fan of accessories, but the very word "accessories" can scare me a bit... makes me think about very fashionista/statement/red carpet kind of things... Instead, to me, it's just a piece of jewellery or a colourful bag or scarf that I love and makes me feel pretty. They're the perfect way to enhance any outfit. The simplest outfit can become special if worn only with that favourite pair of big colourful earrings, for example..;)
i love accessorizing! i think it's easiest to start out with some small earrings, rings, and a simple necklace that is just a charm on a silver chain. it is coool to have a few "Trademark" accessories that you wear everyday - you will get very attached to them, i assure you!! baby steps though - and i think accessories can really spice up an outfit! i just recently bought a necklace with a crystal on the end that changes color in the sunlight.. it's very simple but i really love it.
also, a white shirt with some navy horizontal stripes is such a cute "sailor" outfit and not very conspicuous either! just cute! =)
I can relate to you. I've always been extremely minimalist in my attire so as to not draw attention to myself. Even to the point that I'll avoid patterns on clothing, sticking to only solid prints. I hate attention, negative or positive.
I've starting purposefully trying to go against what I would typically wear to challenge myself. You're not alone.
I can't say that I feel the same about not wanting people to feel attracted to you, but I do understand where you're coming from. Sometimes having people telling me that I look so nice and pretty when I don't feel that way at all makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I LOVE dangly earrings. I rock big earrings whenever I can. I also really like rings. When it comes to necklaces I prefer daintier things that can be worn every day and with any outfit.
I know EXACTLY what I'm doing lately. I am struggling. I eat just to eat then binge eat then stress all night over it. I think that being aware is a huge step. I know it is for me. I wish I was brave enough to tell everyone my story, it runs so parallel to yours! Good job though! I also hate to stand out. I hate when guys tell me I'm beautiful to me it means that I need to lost weight or it's because of my weight. I don't accessorize in fact I let me earring holes close up to end that argument.
Your side note about not accessorizing really resonated with me. I fear attracting attention as well. In fact, I consciously avoid stylish clothing to fend off attention. I just want to blend in. I wear jeans and t-shirts all the time so I won’t stand out in any way. I could write a book about how much I stress about making it look like I don’t care about my clothes…
When I donated my hair to Locks of Love all of my coworkers complemented my new haircut. I know they were trying to be nice, but honestly it just made me so uncomfortable. Fortunately, after a day or two everyone had my hair and stopped saying anything about it. It just became normal. Which is why if you want to wear earrings or necklaces or bracelets, you should go for it! It MAY catch someone’s eye, but more than likely it will just add to your overall look in a subtle way.
First off....LOVE the new blog layout! I think it suits ou perfectly!
And what a fiasco with the computer? I can certainly understand your frustration there!
As for acessories...maybe go small to start? Like some pretty stud earrings and a *thinner* neutral necklace?
It's weird, just the other day I was walking around with my friend, who asked me why I cover up so much. I don't wear very form fitting/figure showing things. My response was something like, "I guess I don't feel comfortable"...which pretty much means "I don't want ppl looking at me". Like you, I don't like to draw attention to myself for whatever reason. Even at school, almost everyday during the quarter I'll wear jeans and a sweatshirt or a light jacket. I seem to never wear things that imply my womanly figure. It's not that I'm a tomboy or anything, just even since my ED this is how it's been...
haha now you've got me thinking!
I would definitely call "talking yourself through" a situation progress! You go girl. That is something I struggle with a lot. Sometimes it is so hard to know what to do when we're in the middle of a stressful situation. I try to pick some of my favorite self-soothing techniques and see if those help. :)
girl! I don't accessorize cause I'm lazy!! Don't feel pressured to "dress" or "make yourself" up just cause the magazines have models or celebs toting tons of shizzle on their bodies (belts, jewelry, etc). you are seriously GORGEOUS!! BTW it IS progress that you were able to stop yourself after eating the handful of treats...still struggling with the emotional eating here. :(
Aww, don't be afraid to add accessories. You don't need to wear anything overly crazy and eye catching.
I always wear 1 ring on each hand. Plus I wear earrings. And then sometimes I'll add a long necklace (J Crew style) to add a little extra to my outfit without going overboard.
Jewelry can add a little sparkle and shine to an otherwise bland outfit. Try adding 1 new piece at a time! :)
I'm the same way about acessorizing! I hate attracting attention to myself, absolutely hate it. But I'm becoming a little more confident in that area and honestly, it's really freeing to say what the hell, and wear what I want... even if it draws attention. Just wear what you like! If you see a cute pair of earrings, wear them! You will only attract attention because you look so beautiful!
Love you!
Accessorizing - usually I just wear diamond studs in my ear and a watch, but will add a fun necklace. I have one with big turquoise stones that I love, a gold chain/pearl one from JCrew outlet, and a few long gold/stone ones from Jcrew, too. Sometimes I go with dangly earrings, but then forego the necklace. Target and Forever 21 usually have cute jewelry for cheap. Headbands are fun too!
Moisturizing - not a pro at this, but I use Oil of Olay moisturizer on my face. It doesn't make me oily and has SPF 15. I just put regular lotion (Jergens) all over my body after every shower.
Hope this helps!
I'm totally with you and I hardly accessorize. Anything beyond earrings is so foreign to me!
As for moisturizer, I've been loving the Cetaphil brand lately. It has no parabens and is CHEAP. My skin even feels really good in the morning after putting it on the night before.
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