There are so many things for me to appreciate in my life including my friends and family. But sometimes it’s the little things that I take for granted and forget about.
Today started off hard. I was tired and sluggish all morning long. I couldn’t seem to eat enough to fulfill the empty feeling I had in my belly and body as a whole. It was hot, it was windy, the plants were burning my legs with their natural defenses and I wanted to kill all of them.
I was so frustrated. I actually screamed at the plants at one point, on the verge of tears because of the pain on my skin, my entire body as I was being stung/burned. But as soon as I hit the hilltop I took a step back to BREATHE.
As hard as it was for me to not be mad at the world for how I felt, I had to appreciate that I could be here:
Sometimes I have to remember that I could be sitting behind a desk, plopped in front of a computer doing things that bore me to death. I’m doing things that are fun, exciting, and that I LOVE TO DO. I couldn’t have asked for a better job. I get to do what I want, with the animals/birds I want and be in the field to breathe fresh air, no matter how windy/hot/full of dirt it is!
My life is good. I’m finally realizing it and appreciating what I have accomplished and been given. For so long I have felt like I hadn’t done enough, done it well enough, and was still behind.
It’s an AMAZING FEELING. How did I not realize this before and believe only the worst?
Enough of my preaching, did you remember to sign up for my Cookbook Giveaway!?!? Just list the one you’d love to own the most and why and it could be yours!
The morning was calm, cool and refreshing and I couldn’t help but love to have my fruit/granola/pb mixture. This is recycled I’m sorry; I’m so redundant.
Like i said, the field was hard. Mid morning I had a Berry Oatmeal Bar and a Pluot.
And then proceeded to walk more miles. Miles and miles and miles. Lunch? pretty early @11.30 for me!
That’s totally a leftover PB and Chocolate Builder’s Bar I’ve had in my cooler for a while (only 1/2 of it left) and a 1/2 a pb and cinnamon sammie. I should have packed a more substantial lunch. I was just too tired to do anything more for it this morning at 5.30am. Arg.
After all 10 miles was done (or so we thought; more tomorrow!) I snacked on a Raspberry and Chocolate Oatmeal Bar. Then passed out immediately in the 1.5hr car ride home. Thank goodness for coworkers to help drive. Too bad mine leaves in two days…eep.
I was totally famished after finishing work at home and my belly was growling. At 4.30? Dinner? I had to oblige to my belly’s demands.
Black Bean Quesadilla
Ingredients:
- 1/3c smashed black beans with a bit of TJ’s Taco Seasoning
- 2T sautéed onions
- 1/4 bell pepper, diced
- 1 Laughing Cow Garlic and Herb Cheese Wedge
- Original Flat Out Wrap
- Salsa
Directions:
- Spread cheese across FlatOut Wrap.
- Smash up black beans with seasoning and onion pieces. Spread across wrap.
- Heat up skillet and place wrap on it, still open so you can put in the bell pepper pieces.
- Fold over and cook until crispy on each side.
- Serve with salsa on the side.
I had to have my fill of fruit so I had a nice bowl of honeydew and blueberries. And some carrots. Two huge ones. I needed crunch.
I was afraid of having dinner that early because I was afraid I would be hungry again before going to bed 5 hrs later. Um, no duh I would get hungry. I had to oblige because well, I was hungry! That is not a crime!
I mixed up some dark chocolate edamame and raisins with some Kashi Honey Sunshine and the last of my honeydew. Might be a bit much for a before bed snack but it’s what I was feelin’. We’ll see how my body handles the chocolate this late at night. Ok, it was only 8.15 but I go to bed at 9.30!
Time to go and cut Honey’s nails. Should be interesting…
And I’m excited for tomorrow for my first speed workout for my 1/2 Marathon Training! It won’t be too long as I haven’t speed trained in a while, but it’s gotta be done. I have to break 2hrs in September! It’s my goal and New Years Resolution! Too bad this course is rolling hills…eep.
13 comments:
Thanks for the reminder - I too often feel so frustrated and annoyed with my future career but then I realize how much I love it and how lucky I am to be able to do it. Good luck on the speed workout tomorrow!
Love the photos you posted today especially the blueberries!
what is it exactly that you do, b/c from the looks of those pictures...it seems amazing.
I love your black bean quesadillas. So simple and looks really good.
Melissa, try packing your lunch at night!! Then you'll have a great lunch for the next day! And yes, eat dinner when YOU want to eat dinner! I would snack away thinking dinner should be at 6 or 7 then end up NOT being hungry by then from all the snacking! Have a great day!
I've definitely been known to eat dinner at 4:30-5ish. If I'm hungry for it, why not? It's silly to eat a snack and still be ravenous. I love Builder bars- so good :) Hope you have a wonderful Tuesday!
Oh man, I can totally see myself being horribly frustrated and bursting into tears in that situation. Way to go, stepping back and thinking things out rationally!
I can't remember--have you posted a recipe for your berry-oat bars? They look quite tasty. :)
i think it is awesome you were able to turn around some negative thoughts & realize how lucky you are to be where you are & do what you do. That is awesome & i can totally relate- sometimes i feel so down and then i realize how great my life really is, and it really helps sometimes.
That quesadilla sounds so delicious!! so does that bar! and i loove pluots..so underrated :)
The bloob oatmeal bar looks amazing as usual. So does the quesadilla! I should make those more often.
You certainly do have gorgeous views and are lucky to be outside even though I'm sure that can be absolutely exhausting. I was just thinking this morn that I'd love a job where I can move around a bit more...
What a view! You are so right - sometimes you need to step back and take a deep breath to ground yourself again.
Love the looks of that bar - is the recipe somewhere on the blog?
1. You have an amazing job--glad you recognize it! I love my job but I get jealous of you being outside all the time! :)
2. Way to honor your hunger-you're doing great!
3. I want one of those berry oatmeal bars! Need to make ASAP!
oh my goodness girl - i just discovered your blog, and i am in love! you are SO amazingly strong! i can't even fathom how incredibly difficult your journey has been, but your honesty and drive to health is crazy inspiring!
i just read your sidenotes, and cried. i've never had an "eating disorder" persay, but i have definitely struggled with disordered thoughts, and TOTALLY was with you in those posts. they were so cuttingly sharp and honest... i hope my blog can be HALF as inspirational as yours is, and i'd be beside myself excited.
don't you EVER give up. your story is so crazy amazing - the potential you have to influence others blows me away. you are such a gem, girl. i hope you wake up everyday and look in the mirror and tell yourself you are INCREDIBLE.
-r
I'm so glad you're appreciating the good things; it makes life so much more amazing and you open up to experiences you'd never want to miss.
That black bean quesadilla sounds amazing! I haven't had good Mexican food in a while - now may be the time!
I really feel you on the whole "time eating thing". I always tend to eat *around* the same time everyday (ED habit), and when I eat earlier than usual, I always seem to worry that I'm going to get hungrier when I SHOULDN'T. It's like I view hunger as an insult to my body, as a problem or an annoyance.
Reading this post though made me realize that hunger is just a natural feeling, a natural balance. It's not your body being mean to you- it's just askin for a few goodies to get it through the day :)
xoxo Floey
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