Anyhow, hopefully my tummy will be better by tomorrow; I'm hungry and I have a 12 miler to fuel for on Saturday! Which includes a 10k race! How nuts am I! So instead I had a Side Note I've been thinking about the past few days. Enjoy!
[[Side Note: Phase?
First off, thank you everyone for the great responses I've been getting on my Side Notes the past few days. It's great to see what you think of the subjects, what you think of the blogging world and my blog to boot! I love you all!
Anyhow, I go through a lot of phases in my life, in anything from running to strength training to food. There are also phases of good and bad with my eating disorder and how I come out of them.
This past weekend has been a huge revelation for me. There is definitely something about surrounding yourself with positive people that rubs off on you and helps you so much in your life. I couldn't have asked for better friends in the entire world. I don't know what I would do without all of your support!
So, I was talking to Monica on the flight out to Chicago about running, my 1/2 Marathon in 2.5 weeks in Portland, OR, how I want to PR and my problems with fueling before, during and after my long runs. I discussed my fears that come with my ED and how it has kept me from having so many years of successful running, training and races. It's truly frustrating knowing so many things that I should be doing, but not literally being able to do, accept and repeat them in the future.
But there was something Monica said that just, clicked. I've had many of these clicks that have come and gone, the phases I talk about, but I think this one is here to stay. Well, I really hope it will and am going to try my hardest to keep it. What did she say? Basically: You have to eat to run, not run to eat (not matter how badly you want to). It's not about the number of calories that you're going to burn running so many miles (which my brain is sadly trained to think permanently as of yet) but about the feeling of accomplishment and success from running those miles and FEELING GOOD about it PHYSICALLY and MENTALLY.
This has always been a hard concept for me to grasp but this time it clicked, especially after running my 11 miler in Chicago. I actually made the effort and decision to properly fuel with water and gu chomps during the run and it's amazing the difference it made. I knew full well that it would help, that I would feel the constant fatigue in my muscles, the cramping in my sides and the mental battle that I have to combat with every step, but never took the step to actually do so.
I had talked to my therapist about how ecstatic I was feeling this way, and couldn't believe I had waited so long to finally take these steps to fuel correctly. There were also heightened emotions about my 1/2 Marathon in Oregon in a few weeks that were all completely positive. I don't know if I'm going to PR because I haven't done much speed work, but I know deep in my heart its going to be a good race and I'm going to have fun. I can't tell you how much more excited I am about this race now that I have a changed mentality about well, RUNNING in general.
(Haha, I like this picture; I threw it in for kicks, and a chuckle.)
It's a beautiful thing. Feeling this way. It makes so many things around running so much easier. It has made it easier for me to decide what to eat before I'm going to exercise. It makes it easier to not feel guilty about having to eat something higher in calories or fats or carbs or proteins. It makes it easier to head out the door with a smile on my face. Now that, is an accomplishment.
Do you go through phases? Clicks? How do you stick with them and make them long lasting? What has been your most successful phase, that's become positive and permanent? ]]
9 comments:
Hey Melissa,
I'm the one who emailed you about Portland. Since I read here it is actually Portland you're visiting, I was wondering if you'd be up for a meet-up?!
If not, I can still give you advice for good places to eat, visit, etc.
Bye!
-Anne
I have to start with I love the side notes!
But about phases I absolutely go through them - with everything but most notably food. My therapist, nutritionist and I have talked about this numerous times. I will literally go from something being my favorite food to not even being able to touch it. From an every day or every meal item to the most unsafe thing on the planet and literally not be able to swallow (most recently sweet potatoes and also chick peas) it goes as part of my red or white thinking (not a fan of grey but love pink so...) I work at it but in all honesty probably not as hard as I ought to/as much as my team thinks I ought to.
Good for you for being able to rewire your thinking!
I love your side notes!
I think everyone goes through phases. I certainly do - with exercise (what I do and how much), food (what I prefer to eat), etc.
I struggle with properly fueling sometimes. I'm stuck in the 'run so I can eat' mentality (although instead of running it's more like cycling, weight lifting, calisthenics).
It's a struggle, but I'm really going to try to adopt the 'eat to work out' mentality.
I'm so happy to hear you are rewiring your thinking about exercise and fuel! Makes me hopeful that I can change my mindset as well :)
I definitely go through phases. I think I've been in a steady, healthy phase for the past year or so - longer than any other time in my 20s (I'm almost 29). As a new runner, I learned so much at HLS about fueling for my runs. For me, this means not attaching any emotion to the food I eat before a run - eating because I know I won't have the energy to complete the run unless I do. I could go on and on...I think you and I could probably talk for hours. :)
I def go through phases. Life is always changing and we have to chage with it so some "ideas" come and go. Others work for the long term.
Love that squirrel! :)
how did you find this pic of me eating! lol
First of all im so sorry to hear about the food poisoning. that is an awful feeling. and second I hope you have the strength an endurance to complete your race tomorrow! im exhausted just thinking about it!
I read your blog (obviously) so I know what you like to eat...but is there anything you'd like me to have on hand so you can fuel yourself properly? I will stock the fridge and pantry!!!
I'm so proud of your breakthrough. Isn't that one of the most freeing feelings in the world? Every little change is going to reflect in your life and it's so amazing to watch!
I don't think I go through really distinct phases. I have passing interests or activities, but I dunno' if I'd describe it as true phases.
I'm sorry about the food poisoning. Yuck! I hope you feel better soon. Take it easy until then.
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