[[Side Note: Me and Jeans
Me and My Jeans:
Oh, have we had a long love-hate relationship over so many years…
Well, I guess I should say more of a hate relationship.
When fall and winter come around it means I have to dig around in my closet, through the depths of all my stuff, and get out my jeans. Sadly I can’t live in my shorts for the entire year and have to get into something warmer so I don’t get frostbite.
Why do I hate jeans? Oh let me think of the reasons…they’re always too tight, they’re form fitting, they are designed not to fit my body, they can be the ugliest colors, they just don’t like me back.
Probably because I don’t like them just as much.
But really, the reason I hate jeans is because they sit too close to my skin.
I hate feeling my clothes on my skin, all over my body, because to me, it lets people see all the things that I hide underneath the clothes that don’t fit me so closely. Jeans don’t let me hide the imperfections that I so miserably hate and wish could make go away.
Has my feelings for jeans changed over the past few years when I last wrote about my anxiety over them? Yes, and no. No because I still have high anxiety over wearing them. Close friends notice me always adjusting my pants in one way or another and I can’t get myself to stop. I can’t go shopping for jeans without hating that they never fit and I’ll never find a pair that will look good, color and fit.
But, even though it is still hard, there is something that has made it easier. Those perfect pair of jeans from my other jeans post? I brought them with me when I went to Oregon, just as sheer backup. When I got there and on day two realized I didn’t have a second pair of shorts, and the ones I did have had macaroni and cheese on the backside (oh Lulu…), I had to wear them.
HOLY SHIT. I have not tried these jeans on since January….and with my changing body? I knew full well the damned things weren’t going to fit properly. I was terrified. I stood in the bathroom with them piled at my ankles, over my feet, wondering how they were going to ever fit over my waist and hips.
Lo and behold…I think I found my own pair of “the traveling pants” (like sisterhood of the traveling pants, ie they fit everyone) because they still fit…perfectly fine. ABSOLUTELY FINE. Maybe just a tad snug in a place or two, but nothing for me to really worry about, like I couldn’t button or pull up the zipper.
Now, I don’t have a picture of me from when I first bought that pair of pants years ago, but I’m willing to bet they didn’t fit me as nicely as they do now. And yes, I just said NICELY. I am not ashamed of the way I look in those pants. As a matter of a fact, I loved it. I had just finished running a sub 2 hour 1/2 marathon over hills and those things showed off my awesome legs like there was no other. I had never been more proud of my legs at that moment.
I have yet to wear them again and I know there will still be anxiety over them, but after being at home last week and having to dig through clothes I hadn’t worn in years (I had to having something other than running clothes to wear to jury duty), even more pairs of jeans, I realized that things still fit. I’ve simply…grown into them.
And I’m just going to keep telling myself: Damned, I look good.
How do you feel about jeans? Do you have a favorite pair? ]]
That Side Note took a lot longer to write than I thought! Gotta get my food pictures up and get to bed! I have been way too tired the past four days and need some solid sleep!
Thank goodness I went grocery shopping yesterday to finally get some variety in my food. Good mornnnnnning parfait!
The morning did not start off on the right foot (like literally, I fell down the stairs, spilled all my paper work onto a wet lawn and dropped four batteries (not like AA or AAA…they’re like mini car batteries!)) so by the time I got any work done I was starving. Snack full of leftovers:
The rest of the morning was just as fine and dandy as the early morning (don’t ask) I finally got around to lunch. At this point I was so hungry I was getting nauseous. I almost couldn’t eat…but as soon as I was done…my belly felt better.
Mixed salad with a chik’n burger and popchips? Those suckers were salty.
At leas I got to sit in the trunk, sit back a bit, munch away and enjoy this:
I love my desert. Never gets old. Ok, that’s a lie. It’s been old for a while.
Anyhow, been a while since you saw me in a picture like this eh? I think it was like, August or September of last year when I was in Texas counting hawks!!!
I wanted to run right out the door after getting home but realized how hungry I was so I stayed in a bit longer to finish up paper/computer work and eat some Temptations TJ’s Trail Mix.
I finally set out to run a very slow and “my legs feel like led” 5 miles along with about 10 minutes of abs afterwards. Ouch.
Did you think I was sick of my refried beans yet? You guessed wrong…
But this might be the last straw. I tried to mix it up by adding some mushrooms and spinach to the mix with salsa, but it didn’t do too much…thank goodness there was corn on the cob to the rescue. I LOVE corn on the cob. I could eat it every.single.day.
And to end the day…dark chocolate covered mini pretzels. Twelve of them. Great way to finish off the day I had…
Tomorrow is Wednesday! That much closer to the weekend (and my birthday!!!)
14 comments:
jeans give me anxiety and I find myself seeing how much I'm "worth" by how they fit. That's why I already bought 3 new pairs of jeans for the winter. I can't deal with the anixety and sadness I get cause they probably WON'T fit so I'm going to advert the whole messy situation. On the positive, even though I don't fit in my old jeans in the thigh area, they fit better in the stomach area...I'm hoping it's cause of the muscle? And YEAHHH for accepting and loving the way those jeans fit! You are gorgeous!
I love this: "I had never been more proud of my legs at that moment".
Put THAT note on those jeans, so you can remember that every time you want to wear them! :)
Jeans are such a pain to buy - I hate trying them on just because every pair is different, every store is different, and every brand is different.
But man - when you find a pair that fits, a pair that can be your "traveling pants", it makes it all worth it.
Jeans, more than any other type of pants, are just awful to buy. And almost every other woman I know has trouble finding jeans that fit. Because of all of my cycling I have leg muscle, especially upper leg muscle. Jeans aren't generally cut to fit upper leg muscle, unless you get relaxed fit jeans that are then baggy everywhere else.
But once you find a pair that fits, it's awesome. Hurrah for loving the way you look in well fitting jeans!! Rock it lady! :)
Hi! I think this is my first comment here? I'm a fan!
My favorite pair of jeans has a hole in one knee and one in the bum which makes me very, very sad. They're my weekend jeans. No office for them, but I can't afford to buy more :(. I have another pair that I really like but they're a tad snug... But see the previous sentence about lack of funds, so I suck it up/in. It's frustrating to feel like you have to fit the jeans instead of being able to get jeans that will fit you, but I try not to think that way!
I don't have much of a problem with the jeans themselves, it's the jeans shopping that I find dreadful! It is almost impossible for me to find a pair that fits me well, so I usually end up having to try on like 50 different pairs before I find one I like. It's so exhausting!
Hun, I HATE jeans! It's not that I think they look bad on me, it's that I feel like a sausage in them! I don't like anything form fitting which I think goes back to having to wear a kilt as part of my high school uniform. It sat high & tight at the waist and I spent 5 uncomfortable years in it. Now anything remotely similar sends me running....jeans being the main trigger and those cute blouses with the tie at the wasit. *shiver* BUT, I shouldn't really complain b/c I still fit into (and wear) 2 pairs of jeans that I bought after Noah was born, a little over 8yrs ago. ;)
I would like to issue a formal apology on Lulu's behalf for any mac and cheese spillage.
I also hate jeans. That's why if I find a pair that I feel good in, I buy them no matter what the cost!
Wow, I can totally relate to your love-hate relationship with jeans. I always get anxious this time of year when I have to pull them out! I haven't done so yet, but when the day comes I'm going to make sure to treat myself with extra kindness, recognizing that I will need some extra support at that moment.
I'm not the hugest fan of jeans and am convinced that I will never look good in skinny jeans (jeggings?), I've tried on many styles of them and horrified at what they do to my legs. But I have a few faves in my closet that work well for me. I like to think tighter jeans are sexy and flattering ... as long as I can sit. :-) I understand your anxiety about jeans, but you have plenty of reasons to be confident in them. :-)
Sorry about your bad morning, I had one of those last week when I knocked a glass off the counter and got to clean up tons of glass shards.
Oh I am so with you. Jeans. GRRR.
I find them incredibly uncomfortable. Ive never liked jeans, even when I was a little girl. I like clothes not to touch me. Id rather be naked than in tight jeans.
And I agree---I get jean anxiety around this time of year as well.
Oh I am so with you. Jeans. GRRR.
I find them incredibly uncomfortable. Ive never liked jeans, even when I was a little girl. I like clothes not to touch me. Id rather be naked than in tight jeans.
And I agree---I get jean anxiety around this time of year as well.
Thank you so much for opening up about this. I've come so far, but as fall approaches and shopping for different clothing styles becomes a necessity, I have been having the WORST anxiety! Let's just say I've "grown" in more ways than one over the summer. Nothing drastic, and I probably feel and look even better than I did before. And I know that I'm stronger. But the fact remains: I HATE shopping now, I'm terrified of my old clothes, and I cannot seem to shake the discomfort.
I'm really working on ways to overcome this. Let me know if you have any revelations! You are wonderful!
I agree about jeans.. so hard to find ones that fit you EXACTLY right. Almost impossible, dare I say?
And go you... because i'm sure you looked damn hot in those jeans!
Love ya!
man alive do we have a lot in common when it comes to thoughts on clothes and food. shopping for jeans is quite a challenge; same deal...doesnt fit here but fits here, fits now but not later, only looks ok w/ certain shirts, etc. i'm so happy for you though! and proud. rock it out girl...i know you look incredible, but i hope you feel even better. its easy to say (and should be saying it in the mirror), but they're just a clothing item. you are still an amazing person with great values, and that changes none w/ size, shape, color, etc.
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