I have always had a very hard time listening to my body since I developed my ED. For the longest time I ignored my hunger, the feeling of needing to provide my body with food and energy, and am still to this day trying to figure out exactly what it feels like. Sometimes, my stomach actually rumbles, but sometime it just feels empty. Sometimes I don't feel it in my belly but when I get a headache or want to snap at everything that I pass or encounter.
I have been totally off energy wise the past few days. It's driving me crazy but I'm listening. I'm trying very hard to listen to my body and give it what it needs, from food to sleep to rest. That's why I went to bed earlier last night, and then came home to sleep two solid hours after I got home. That's why I (felt like I) took my dear sweet time on my evening run in the nasty heat and took my time walking afterwards along with stretching. That's why I ate the foods I wanted and needed and didn't feel a tinge of guilt.
So hellooooooo body, I'm listening. I'm trying very hard to not ignore you when you need me the most and provide you with what you need.
How do you read your hunger signals? How do you know when you're hungry? Do you wait to eat immediately? How do you deal with it...you know, other than the obvious and eating! ]]
Another morning with the two minute snooze...and then the cat bit my nose, now that's something to wake up to eh? So came the boring meal of the morning...
And out into the field:
It was a hard morning. I was hot, like blazing hot, no wind, and tired. Not to whine, but so flip'n tired. Which is why I ate a snack a mere 2 hrs later...not because I was hungry but because I was exhausted and really just needed it to keep me awake; believe me, it was not easy at all.
You can bet as soon as I got home though, I was straight on that bed and passed the heck out. Like totally gone to the world the cat jumping all over the bed and attacking me feet won't wake me up kind of sleep.
Sleep, did me well. But my hunger was off the hook. Ok, I really didn't know I was hungry, but I had a raging head ache and knew I needed food. Temps were in the mid 90's, so I had a smoothie, in a bowl of course. I hate drinking smoothies, they kinda suck that way; too thin.
I should have been packing the afternoon away, cleaning and preparing for my trip, but instead I got sucking into Hyperbole and a Half...which is a freak'n awesome blog. I have not laughed this hard in a very long time.
You seriously need to check it out.
Mid afternoon snack included an apple with pb...maybe more pb than apple. I kid, I kid...but there was quite a bit of pb consumed. PB LOVAH!
Alas, I finally got my butt off the floor and out of my dirt covered clothes to go for a slow, heat stricken 4.5 mile run in 40 minutes. I thought I was crawling! I suppose not...but I felt relaxed afterwards so that's all that counts. But I sure did look like I worked hard afterwards...btw, this is always where I end up after a run. On my living room floor, totally out of it.
I have always loved Gardenburger's Black Bean Burgers and when I saw them on sale the other day I picked them up immediately and couldn't wait to inhale one tonight. Sadly I became disappointed when, what did I smell but BBQ sauce?!?!?! WTF?!
As great as the sandwich looks...I did not enjoy it as much as I wanted to. Thank goodness I had fresh corn (which I forgot to picture because well, I forgot about it until half way through my meal), carrots, and a white peach to make up for the flavor sadness that ensued...
And to round out the night was a small amount of dark chocolate chips.
And play time with my babbbbbby. Love!
12 comments:
Oh I hate it when you're THAT tired.. it's like your body is hating you. Fun times. But go you for listening to it! I'm SO bad at that! Especially about taking naps and getting enough sleep in general.
That SIAB looks so good!
Love ya!
I'm currently searching your blog to find which toppings I should buy for your veggie pizza. Just thought you should know ;)
Ah! I hope Honey didn't knock that glass over haha.
And I have completely the SAME problem with listening to my body. When I was just starting college I purposely DIDN'T listen to it, just because it made me feel stronger and more in control and the 'bigger person' than my body. I'd ignore my sleepy-ness and keep working or go for a swim, or I'd try to silent hunger pains with a diet soda or a few saltines instead of giving my body real food.
I've ignored my body for so long that I eventually reached the point where I was completely disconnected from it, and couldn't even tell the diff. btwn what I felt and what I didn't...because I couldn't even feel.
I'm still wrking on it!!
I WANT you to listen to your hunger cues cause you need to feed your uber active body! Plus I want you to have energy to play with mama pea the girls. :) I have the opposite eating problem as you...eating when i'm NOT hungry...I've had to take breathers after a meal to see if I REALLYYY need more or REALLY need that dessert..it's hard but each day I try to get stronger.
I have trouble knowing when I am hungry too. A lot of times I don't feel hungry but I feel like my blood sugar is low - when I get headaches or shaky, etc, then I know I need to eat to feel better even if I don't feel hungry. Its really annoying to me because it seems like I never know what to do! But I'm hoping to eventually figure it out!
I'm still trying to get better at listening to my body. It's incredible how easy it is to mess up something that we're intrinsically wired to do...I'm not sure that ED sufferers can ever eat 100% intuitively again, but every once in awhile I reach a milestone that makes me realize just how far I've come.
Honey is adorable. I wish I could have a cat in my apt!!
listening to your body is friggin hard even without an ED. Seriously it's probably the thing I am working on the most, like all the time!!
hope you have fun this weekend
Listening to your my body is so hard and Ive never had a ED- it takes practice practice practice and careful observation of what your body is trying to tell you.
My problem is that I never feel hunger---I eat way before I even feel it. So this morning, I waited...and waited until I felt hunger and it finally came at 10am.
Check out the ears on that rabbit! LOL
If I feel hungry at a time when I "shouldn't" be, I ask myself if I would feel the hunger if I was out at the mall instead of on the couch. If the answer is no, I'm probably just bored. In that case, I'll pop a piece of gum in my mouth to keep it occupied.
hello there! i'm new to your blog. i like reading the part you wrote about listening. it's really nice. i don't like to my body sometimes, though i should!
did u use peanut butter for your banana breakfast? your sandwich looks very refreshing!
Hope your weekend has been awesome...how do I know when to eat? When I am really hungry. I dont force eating at "meal times" if I am not hungry, and feel total liberty to "snack", i.e. eat when ever I want even if it's not a meal time. I just go with it, eat when im hungry, stop when full. Even if that's not by the clock on the wall. Sorry for the random answer, but that's just what i do :)
Hon, I know you haven't posted it yet, but a HUGE congrats on your race! So proud of you.
xoxo
Post a Comment