My Heart Is Afloat

I am so thrilled at everyone’s participation in my 2 year Blog Anniversary Giveaway!  I am also excited to hear about all the things you would love to hear about on the blog and how much you like it already!  I’ve always felt a bit out of the norm with my blog, talking about the environmental work I do on top of being a vegetarian, training for races and overcoming an eating disorder (and all the rawness I put into those posts)…I also felt like I didn’t have a niche in our little community because I was all over the place, but I suppose that’s what makes it exciting for all of you!!  Again, thank you all so much for following, be it from the beginning or just yesterday; I love you all!

Remember, you have until Sunday night to enter the giveaway and I’ll announce the winner on Monday!

~~

I hope your day has gone well, mine certainly wasn’t too bad!  The weather, thank goodness, was down considerably to the high 80’s/low 90’s but with a wind blowing at over 25mph so although it made walking a bit harder, it definitely made it cooler!  We’re winding down most of projects right now so we’re not doing as much walking (only 6 miles today!) but I needed to take it easy since after yesterdays run an old quad injury was flaring up a bit…I suppose the combo of that and walking all those hills (which we did more of today) was a bit much for it…hopefully this won’t derail me from the race I’ve signed up for this weekend!

I haven’t run a 5k in such a long time!  I’m excited to see how it’s going to go and what kind of time I’ll get since I haven’t been doing any sort of short speed training!  I hope my quad is happy by then so I can run my little legs off!

Anyhow, I started off today with my banana/cereal/pb mix but added in a few raspberries to spice it up a bit…and because they needed to be eaten or they’d go bad!

Out to the field/hills we went and got the hardest part of the whole area finished!  No more crazy hills that I dreaded doing, especially in the heat!  After those and running around trying to find out some stuff for another part of the area, I had a snack of a plum and a Blueberry and Raspberry Oatmeal Bar to hold me over until lunch.  I really wish I had taken a picture of it because these are so much prettier with the red/pink and blue/purple from the berries!  Obviously I have 7 more so you’ll see them eventually!

We did some more walking and then I had to take some B&W pictures of this abandoned house out in the desert.  The whole building was warped and I knew it was going to make a great photo op.

I just wish I had had my personal camera to take these pictures because I think they would have come out even better!

I still thought the different angles were really interesting and almost eerie!

 

Do you see the lizard in the window?

 

I have no idea how old the property is but it’s amazing how it’s started to sag and dip so much…

 

I’m really surprised it’s even standing!  The weather out here is brutal so it’s amazing what these buildings go through!

And…I actually got a picture of my lunch out in the field but forgot to take the camera out of B&W mode.  I made my lunch artsy!

Ok, not so much. A basic Laughing Cow and Hummus Veggie Sandwich with some fresh cantaloupe on the side.  It is so sweet right now since it’s getting in season!  Nom nom!

We got home and did some work and I needed some brain fuel to do all the work I needed on the computer. A mix of Cinnamon Puffins and the last of my PB Panda Puffs.

 

I was getting really sleepy after all of this and normally my response would be to snack one something to keep me awake, but what good is that going to do for me if I’m not hungry and just tired?  Ergo I listened to my body and simply took an HOUR LONG NAP.  I totally needed that…

Many of you talked about how you would like to see more recipes, easy meals that I take out in the field and more about the meals I eat for dinner so I’ve started a new section on my Recipe Page called Single Serving Meals.  Check it out when you get a chance!  I’ve added my dinner from tonight!

Tempeh and Bok Choy Stir Fry with Brown Rice

Ingredients:

• 1-2 tsp of sesame seed oil
• 3 cloves of garlic, mashed/chopped
• a bit of fresh grated ginger (use a little at first and add as needed as it can be overwhelming!)
• one thick slice (mine was just under an inch) of fresh onion
• 1-2 tbsp of low sodium soy sauce
• 3 bunches of baby bok choy, rinsed and ends chopped off
• a large handful of broccoli slaw (or you can use a handful of broccoli and a half a carrot, grated or cut thinly)
• 2 tbsp of water
• 1/3 package of TJ’s 6 Grain Tempeh, cut into small cubes
• 1/2 cup brown rice

 

Directions:

1. Start brown rice in rice cooker or pot and cook according to package directions (I used my rice maker, added in a 1/2C of brown rice and 1 1/4c water)
2. Start heating oil at a low heat while you add in the garlic, ginger, onion and soy sauce.
3. Sauté until the onions start to soften and add in water, bok choy and broccoli slaw on top.  Cover the pan to help steam the vegetables and continue cooking the onion pieces.
4. Give the vegetables about 3-5 minutes and start moving them all around together.
5. Remove the vegetables and add the tempeh to the pan to heat through, adding a bit more soy sauce if needed for taste.
6. Plate all together and enjoy!

It’s really simple and if you cook the rice while you make the other part of the dish, everything is ready in about 15-20 minutes!  Easy peasy!

I’m finishing off the night with 1/2 a TJ’s Dark Chocolate Bar with a 6 dried bing cherries and calling it a night!

Oh, and if you commented on my post about checking in on Mirror Checks, I have left a comment for you (Ok, I’m actually posting this and then going over to comment so give a bit of time!  But responses will be there!)

Good night!

You Didn’t Remember?

It’s ok, because I didn’t either!
I totally bypassed my TWO YEAR BLOGGING ANNIVERSARY!!!
It’s actually been over two years since Trying to Heal actually started and I can’t thank you for all the support you have given me over that time.  You all have helped me through so many hard and bad times with my ED and seen me through my crazy adventures with jobs and environmental life!  I hope you’ve enjoyed reading the blog through all of these events and to thank you for everything, you know I’m hosting A GIVEAWAY!!!
My nice little package is going to include:

• Your choice of Fruit and Chocolate in my Oatmeal Bars
• Your choice of Berries and Chocolate in my Vegan Dessert Bread
• A jar of TJ’s Original PB
• A package of TJ’s Dark Chocolate Covered Edamame
• A variety of different granola bars (probably around six!)
• A few coupons for Attune Probiotic Chocolate Bars of your choice!
• And a few other surprises!

How can you win all these goodies?  There are FOUR ways to enter:

1. Leave a comment about what you’d like to see more of on the blog…Vegetarian recipes? ED research? Environmental facts?
2. Leave a comment telling me you’ve followed me on Twitter: TryingToHeal
3. Tweet about the Giveaway and leave a comment telling me you did:
   -Check out @TryingToHeal ‘s 2 year Blog Anniversary Giveaway!: http://bit.ly/c5jOHz
4. Link back to the giveaway on your blog and leave a comment letting me know you did!

I’ll choose a winner next Monday, July 5th!!!  I love you all for all your help and support!  MWAH!
~~
It was so hot today, over 105F out in the desert and when you’re walking super nasty hills with very little wind and having to wear pants and gators (to protect from rattlesnakes!) it doesn’t leave you feeling well…your best, to say the least.
I knew it was going to be a hard morning so I fueled up with a reliable staple that I haven’t had in a while:

• Kashi Sunshine
• Kashi Heart to Heart
• Banana
• TJ’s PB

 
I loved this picture because of the sunlight…so pretty.  Too bad the best lighting is on the carpet.  :)
We only hiked 5 miles this morning, but they were 5 very hard miles.  In between the first and second transect I snacked on a Blackberry Oatmeal Bar for some energy…
We ended up leaving the field a bit early to get work done at the house and to get out of the heat…I just could work properly, or function at all really so it was nice to cool off at home.  Because it was so hot I had absolutely no appetite and decided to wait and eat lunch at home.  It was what i had brought out into the field, but I swapped out the crackers for a few pieces of sourdough bread.

After watching some hulu I snacked on an apple and a bowl of trail mix knowing I would need the energy for a run later in the evening.  After getting some rest I headed out for a 4.5 mile run that I finished in 39 min at a pace of 8.45!  I was a bit worried since I’m running a 5k race in town this weekend, but I’m sure I’m going to be fine!  I wonder how many people are going to be running it, since it’s such a small town!  We’ll see on Sunday!
You can bet I was famished by the time I got home, so I had made a nice quick and TJ filled dinner!
Well, the cantaloupe wasn’t from TJ’s, but you know…

I made up a bowl of TJ’s Instant Mushroom Rice Noodle Soup but bulked it up with a few handfuls of TJ’s Broccoli Slaw and a 1/3 of a package of TJ’s Tempeh.

It actually didn’t taste too bad!  I added all the seasoning packet that came but not the oil package and don’t think I was missing anything really.  Overall very tasty!
Now I’m off to play with Honey and get some rest!  I haven’t been sleeping well with the heat so I’m going to try and get some extra sleep tonight!

Check In

[[Side Note: Mirror, Mirror: Check In
For a while it was getting so much better, I wasn’t checking the mirrors, windows, car reflections, anything.  Suddenly my life changed a little bit and everything went haywire.  I can’t go by anything that will provide a reflection without looking at it, and kicking my ass about what I see.
Sadly I’ve succumbed to really hating my body again, picking at all the little things I don’t think look right. I pick, pinch, prode and poke at all the parts of me that I wish would magically change over night to the way I want it.  I hate to admit it, but I found a picture of a girl in one of my magazines that looks like what I want to look at. And even though I know full well that I’ve obtained it before, it was not done in a healthy manner and I was tired, hungry and miserable all the time I did look like that. 
But I can’t get over wanting to look like that again, believing that it’s going to make my life oh so much better when really, the only reason I’m not happy with my life is because I’m simply not living it.  I’m not doing things because I’m waiting for that moment when I’m skinny enough and then I’ll be worth going/hanging out with, having fun with…and so much more. 
When I think about it, that day will never come.  I don’t know when I’ll ever believe my body to be ideal like I want it to be. And even if it does, will it make a difference in my life?  I may fit into smaller clothes, that will be full of color, warmth and beauty, but why not get those kinds of clothes now?  So what if they’re in a bigger size than what you want?  Does it make them any prettier?  Nope.
So I need to stop checking those mirrors, those reflections, because they don’t reflect WHO I AM, just what I look like.  And if it’s not what I want, I can healthily work on toning and rounding it up if it needs it…but I need to remember what it does for me, what it gives me, and how it keeps me living the way I’m living…
I’m going to start living.  It’s starting now.  It’s already started.  I’m joining clubs and meeting new people.  I’m going to go out on a social outing and talk to people my age… What are you doing to live up your life?! ]]
Quick run through of food photos because i need to finish my laundry and get to bed!  It’s going to be another hot one tomorrow (was 105 today!) and I need some serious rest!
Breakfast? Same ol’, same ol’…berries, peach, cereal, pb, bit of greek yogurt…

8 miles in the heat means no appetite.  Lunch was some cucumbers and carrot sticks w/ hummus, some crackers and a plum.
By the time my body cooled down I was starving!!!  You can bet the heat made me want something cold and delicious!
blueberries, mango, usvab, cereal, pb…

And a raspberry chocolate chip oatmeal bar to round it out…before an hour of strength training while watching Flyboys!  Oh my boy James Franco…drool.
Dinner? Leftovers from last night, but instead of mustard I used real cheese…omg it was delicious with the italian spices from the eggplant.

Along with a bit of sweetness…
 
Of cherries and a peach donut…those things are delicious.
 
I went off to a Mountain Bird Meeting but no one showed up…lame.  How am I supposed to meet people if they don’t show up!
So I cam home to chat with my beautiful blogger friends and snack on some cinnamon puffins and chocolate chips.
nighty night now!

A Hot One

whoooeeee!  My poor  Honey is trying so hard to stay cool…as am I.  I’m sweating just sitting in shorts and a tank top…we have AC but are too stubborn to use it.  I wish I didn’t have to pay my own bills. Haha.

(PS you totally know there are going to be pictures of my fur baby on the blog like, everyday.  get used to it. hehe)

Anyhow…I had some computer problems this morning with my new laptop so you can imagine that I wasn’t happy, even after being able to sleep in for an extra hour!  As soon as that was all over, well, at least until it may or may not decide to act up again, I set out for breakfast.

I’m sure many of you read Danica’s Blog (Danica’s Daily) and have seen her consume Cashew Butter on her toast in the morning…well, I finally found the one that she had and finally opened it!

Hot damn why did I wait this long!?!?!  I had two pieces of TJ’s Cinnamon Bread, one with Cashew Butter:

 

And one with TJ’s PB.

 

It was perfect for breakfast with the crunch of the cold apple on top…

 

I did some baking while it was still cool, snacking on a handful of Cashew pieces and made some more of my Blackberry Oatmeal Bars in new varieties, including Blueberries and Raspberries and Raspberries and Dark Chocolate Chips.  I also made the Vegan Brownies in my Joy of Vegan Baking for a more sweet snack during the week…you’ll see a review of those in a second.

I finished baking and somehow out of somewhere I started getting anxious.  I’m not quite sure why, but I have a feeling it has to do with the fact that I planned on going for a run today, but it was way too hot and probably wasn’t going too.

  Therefore, I was afraid to eat more than err, normal (?! seriously, what is that anyways? if it even exists) since I wasn’t going to be exercising.  Normally this would have made me go over to my side of the kitchen and start grazing, eating to provide the comfort I needed, but instead headed out to shop instead! It’s just Kmart because that’s about as exciting as it gets here in the mountain town where I reside, but hey, better than nothin!  I got a few things for my Honey that I still needed to get and bought myself two new books (which I’ll be talking about this week!) and headed home for lunch when I officially felt hungry, not anxious or emotional.

I was HOT so of course I wanted something cold!  Smoothie in a bowl it is!

 

• 1/2 frozen banana
• 1/2c each frozen blueberries and raspberries
• 1/2c usvab
• huge handfuls of spinach
• 3/4c kashi honey sunshine
• 1tbsp tj’s pb

And for dessert I had a Vegan Brownie (cut in half so it would fit).  They looked wonderful when they came out, smelled awesome…but not so much in taste and texture.  I like gooey brownies that get stuck in your teeth and all over your mouth, this one, not so much.  The top was kinda rubbery and though the inside was soft, not all sticky like I like it.  Why is this?  The recipe has no oil in it what so ever and only applesauce.  Gonna have to work on this one for next time!

 

I spent the afternoon reading and doing a workbook, trying to stay sane with how hot it was, and eventually got hungry enough for dinner.  I had some leftover eggplant I needed to use, along with a fresh onion and some tempeh to eat before it went rancid, so what else do I like to make: Open Face Sandwich!

• grilled onions
• grilled eggplant
• grilled tempeh
• grilled tomato slices
• lettuce
• mustard

It was just what I needed on a hot evening like this one…or so I thought. 

I was full and satisfied physically at this point, but in no way emotionally full.  I suppose I didn’t really pay attention to what I really wanted tonight when I did get hungry.  It’s ok, I’m learning…in due time.  I believe I was more focused on eating the things in my fridge so it would go bad and my money wouldn’t be wasted…

I did however love love love the farmer’s market fruits including cherries and a white peach.  Delight.

And for dessert (yes, I had two desserts today, even when I didn’t run, and thank goodness I don’t feel bad about it!  Normally I’d be a nervous and awesome wreck right now!  But I wanted it, so I had it!  That’s listening to my body/desires) I tried my Raspberries and Dark Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Bars, which were basically the same as the Blackberry ones, but I layered the fruit and chocolate in the middle instead of on top.  I made this one in a loaf pan to accomplish that to make each layer thicker to hold the layer together, and therefore making the squares much smaller than normal!  Alas…you know it was tasty.  You’re going to see this super often during the week!

There simply wasn’t enough protein in my dinner because w/in two hours my belly was rumbling again, so I had a bit of trail mix (ok, a large handful) while playing with Honey…

And now…gettin ready for bed!  What?  At 8.45?!  Peeps, it’s gonna be early mornings with the temps in the 100’s this week…don’t want me dying of heat stroke now do we?  Not uh…well, at least I don’t!

I hope you all had a good weekend?!  Anything exciting?!  Congrats to some of my ladies who ran races, despite temp conditions and body ailments!  You are rock stars!

Just Listen

Today was about listening to my body, or at least trying to and obliging to it’s demands. 

I woke up at an ungodly hour this morning even after going to bed at almost 11pm.  What hour? 5.45 peeps…only 15 min later than when I wake up for work.  Arg.

I gave myself some time to wake up and play with Honey with plans to go on a 8-9 mile run to start on my 1/2 marathon training this weekend.  I needed something with substance but light enough to not upset the belly:

whole wheat flax bread with pb and blueberries.

I waited a little bit before heading out the door, stoked that it wasn’t too windy and I’d be able to enjoy the long distance without getting too whipped by the wind.  Anyhow, I started out against the wind with hopes of having more energy, but that was a total bust. I wasn’t even a mile into the run and my body just wasn’t into it. I thought maybe it was my muscles not loosening up, but after another mile my body was still pissed.  I really tried to fight it, thinking it was mental, but it just didn’t work and I knew it was never going to.  So I hit 3 miles and that was it.  I ran back a little bit to complete about 4 miles and walked.  I felt horrible, physically because there was just something wrong, and mentally because I couldn’t complete it.

Very frustrating to say the least.  I am pretty sure that the lack of sleep played a huge part in how my body was responding, but I was still pissed that I couldn’t complete the run.  The weather and every other condition was perfect, but I wasn’t.  I thought I would be able to compete and charge through the feeling as I’ve done so many times before, but it didn’t happen.  I felt weak, but really I was simply exhausted.  And that’s ok.  It’s ok that I didn’t finish the run no matter how much I wanted it and that it doesn’t make me a failure.  I listened to my body and that was the best thing I could do for myself.  When it felt too weak, I stopped and let it rest.  When it was tired and soar, I made sure to stretch and rest it until it felt better.

I ended up back with some time to spare before Tai Chi so I cleaned up and took a BATH.  Yes, I took a bath.  I bought some White Tea bath crystals the other week and couldn’t wait to try them.  I cleaned out the bathtub (though it’s used as the shower anyhow) and took advantage of it to help me relax.  It was so nice to just sit and relax (even if I did only fill the bath half way up) and the smell of the crystals was so relaxing…anyone still take baths?  Even if it’s just to relax?

I was pretty hungry so I whipped up a smoothie with Jay Robb’s Chocolate Whey Protein Powder, water, some frozen mango chunks, 1/2 a frozen banana and 4 strawberries.  Delight…but not as good as the vanilla one, better than the rice protein and didn’t taste much chocolate, mostly mango out of everything.

 

As you can tell there was a lot in that smoothie and it made quite a bit!  That’s a full tall glass in the background!  I ended up mixing 3/4 of a cup of H2H into the smoothie for some crunch…I love having crunch to my smoothies!

I headed off to my first lesson to Tai Chi and it was so relaxing.  I thought I was going to be learning new things but it’s actually the same moves I learned almost 5 years ago when I was in college, just with some variation in the arm movements.  Overall it was nice and I will continue to keep going, as it certainly helped with the stress I made over feeling failed over that run!  Tai Chi is seriously so relaxing…anyone done tai chi?

I was there for two hours and made a quick stop to the grocery store before heading home and I was famished!  I was so hungry my belly felt like it was being eaten!  Ack! What better than a snack plate to cure that eh?

fresh peach from the farmers market…

 

and some kashi crackers, athenos red pepper hummus, two carrots and some cucumber slices.

I snacked on some Soy Sesame Trader Joes crackers and a Blackberry Bar while watching some movies on my new computer…which I just realized I have yet to share with you!  Soon enough!

When dinner finally rolled around and my tummy was growling, I didn’t really feel like eating dinner-type foods.  I was in the mood for breakfast foods!  What better than yogurt, berries, cereal and pb!?

Honey couldn’t resist…

and a small handful of chocolate chips to round out the night. 

Lifetime movie network here I come!  What a Saturday night eh? I’m so crazy…

And The Beat Goes On…

You totally know that old old Britney Spears song…yeah, sing with me now!  I know Caitlin and Meghann are!

But before I get to that, congrats to Heather and Mark on their engagement!!!  How exciting!!!

So, today?  I knew it was going to be hot and super dehydrating, so I had to start the morning off with something cool!  I’m on a roll trying out Jay Robb’s Protein Powders and this morning decided to try the Vanilla Rice Protein Pack.

I blended it with a frozen banana and blueberries, some USVAB, spinach and ice and set off for the drive to work, with a small bag of Kashi H2H to throw in there for some crunch.

 

Um, Jay Robb I think you failed me on this one. I almost couldn’t stomach my way through this because it tasted so protein-like and almost metallic.  Weird no?  Maybe it’s because I’m used to whey protein and not rice protein…we’ll see how the other ones turned out.  Though now I’m a bit afraid they’re going to be just as bad.

We tackled 6 miles before we stopped for a snack and you can be I demolished the Blackberry Bar and Pluot I brought.  OMG the Pluot was delicious…so fresh from the market yesterday.  I could have eaten like, 5 if I had had them right then and there. So delish!

We headed out to another site and finished up another 3 miles of work before heading home, which meant very late lunch!  Actually, I had it while I was out there but I simply wasn’t hungry.  I decided to wait until I got home so I could really enjoy it sitting down at a table and tasting the flavors.  I had a piece of 6 grain bread with 1.5T of pb mixed with cinnamon and an apple (that I had to butcher because it had some bad spots) and some salsa with two carrots I cut up.  I love crunch in my foods if you can’t tell.

 

  

I settled on a bit of reading before going out for a short run, but only after a bowl of mixed cereal for an afternoon snack.  Right now I have three days of running planned for this weekend as I’ve only been able to run twice since last Saturday, and I’ve got The Oregon Wine and Country 1/2 Marathon to start training for!!!  Yay!  I’m going to make a post just for that starting tomorrow and hopefully will have it up by Monday.  It’s kind of hard to plan as of right now because I’m doing so much walking (I did 9 miles today on top of the run!  Yikes!  But still feel good!).  Anyhow, I set out for a nice 4 mile run, even though I wasn’t too excited since it was blow’n like a hurricane!  I was focusing on my posture during this run, along with trying to relax my shoulders since I’m always so tense after carrying a heavy backpack around for work all day!  I finished it up feeling good and finished at 33.44 for a pace of 8.30 min/mile!  I hope I can run that fast, or faster next weekend for my 4th of July 5k Fun Run in town!  I’m excited to try a shorter race again, I think it’s been over a year since I ran a race that short!

(Btw, totally will never had to buy my kitty cat toys; all I need to give her some packing material.  Those toys in the background were given to me)

Anyhow, you can bet I was famished when I finished and set on making dinner.  I picked up some fresh fruits and vegetables at the farmer’s market yesterday so they were the center of attention for dinner tonight! 

I roasted up a sweet potato and portobello mushroom with Italian seasonings and garlic. 

I put the mushroom in a lightly toasted piece of 6 grain bread with mustard and some sharp cheddar cheese that I had melted on it in the oven.

On the side I had a 1/4 of a cantaloupe and a handful of cherries for some sweetness.

For dessert I tried the second of three Attune Bars:

Wow!  I’m normally not a fan of coffee flavored chocolates, especially ones that had coffee beans in them, but this one wasn’t too bad!  There wasn’t an overwhelming amount of coffee beans, but then not too little and actually provided a nice crunch to the bar (though I was trying hard to just let it melt, but that meant eating the coffee beans alone, which wasn’t what I wanted).  I’ve got one bar left, the Raspberry Dark Chocolate so I’ll probably be having that some time this weekend.  I don’t know what I’m going to think about that one since I really don’t like chocolate with fruit flavors…we shall see.

And I’m tired.  9.30 on a Friday night and I’m ready to hit the hay…oh the joyful life of a field biologist who studies birds…hehe.  No regrets baby!  No regrets!

I’ve got a nice 8-9 miler (we’ll see how I feel) planned before I try to attend Tai Chi again (it was cancelled last weekend I’m guessing since no one was there) and a trip to the grocery store to finish stocking up for the week!  Then, it’s bonding time with Honey!  She is such a doll!

Thank Goodness

…I had this sweet face to come home to today.  It was a very early morning, very hot day, very long day and…well, I just don’t know how to describe it. 

Therefore, I’ll leave you with some pictures of the sunrise in the desert…

 

and my little Honey…

Yay for the weekend!!!