Guts...

[[Side Note: Guts

I've had some time to think...of the things I wish I'd have done and have done...and realized...

As far as my ED goes, it has kept me from doing many things over the years...

I wish I had the guts to...
Do a sprint triathlon
Take a new class
Try new foods in different places by different people
Become a baker.
Make new friends.
Try a new drink
Complete a marathon.
Write a book.
Create something new.
Be myself.

But as much as it has kept me from doing these things, there is so much that I've done and don't realize or give credit to...because really, I am a strong, independent woman.

I have had the guts to...
Travel to new places, for fun and running.
Travel to foreign countries.
Study in new places.
Take jobs that can well, kill me. *but are awesome!
Do what I love the most.
Save the environment.
Stand up for myself.
Be blunt.
Have my own pet.
Say what I need to say.
Be a friend.

What have you had the guts to do?  Which one did you enjoy and find the most empowering? ]]


After having a hard time yesterday I wanted to make sure that today was better, even it was only by the smallest degrees.

I have had these stashed away in a safe place to make sure they wouldn't get lost, and after doing some cleaning last night found them and made sure to post some to make my self remember...

(Do you love the I just woke up 5 seconds ago look?  Yes, I was still asleep at that moment)

They actually scared the crap out of me when I woke up and walked into the restroom this morning (bright colors in your face at 5am is not ideal, fyi) but instantly I had a smile on my face and welcomed the surprise that I had forgotten I left for myself.

I am trying to eat up all the fresh stuff in my apartment before my weekend in Portland so I had another cereal mess this morning.  I actually used a 1/2 a banana instead of strawberries but loved the blueberries and white peach...plus real pb and Kashi plus other random cereals I had little left of.

It was another long day out in the field and seriously, it didn't go as well as planned, which didn't help my declined mood from yesterday.  Lets just say, I forgot some things which were pertinent to work and felt miserable.  But, diving into my yoga and meditation exercises I've been doing more of lately, I breathed deep and remembered that well, these things happen.  You work with them, get through them, and move on.

By the time we finished it was almost 1.30 and I was a starving marvin!  I snacked on some grapes on the way home where even though I had a nice lunch in my bag, but simply wasn't feeling it; my stomach was off.

As soon as I got home I made a roasted/grilled veggie sandwich with my Arnold's Thins from Foodbuzz with some cantaloupe, and two mini york peppermint patties for good nature.

Nothing fancy, but just enough to keep me going throughout the rest of my afternoon and computer work.

I had a leisurely run set for the evening so I snacked on a mug of mixed cereals for some extra energy...I would have picked something different but I'm running low on all snack foods...I suppose I could have had more fruit but I know it wouldn't have sustained me long, and I didn't want anymore pb (whaaaaahhhhhhtttt????)

As soon as I could convince myself that my body wasn't as sore as I believed it to be after Jillian Michael's No More Trouble Zones workout from yesterday I went on a nice easy 5 mile run...the longest for my week before my 1/2 Marathon (FIVE DAYS AWAY!!! AHHHHHH!!!).  I felt awesome afterwards, especially after being stuck in a car and just standing around most of the day!  I wanted to move muscles!

I had no idea what I wanted for dinner...I still had my cold quinoa salad from lunch that I hadn't eaten but still wasn't feeling it so I made a simple open egg sandwich with cantaloupe for dinner.  Again, nothing fancy, I was feeling plain and simple tonight...and today rather.  My belly is a bit off.

I've got two fully booked days of work before I can head home and get ready for my long weekend of running and blogger mayhem then return to Cali for some, ugg, JURY DUTY.  Can you believe this is my THIRD TIME I've been called in?  I've even been on a jury before for 9 days!  And I'm not even 25 yet (but tomorrow will be my birthday month so 25 is getting closssssser!!!), geez!

How has your week been going?  Have you ever had jury duty?

Out of Plastic Bird Nerd

Today was like my Tuesday, since I worked yesterday...but it sure as hell felt like a Monday.  Something was off to begin with, and I was totally out of it after waking up this morning.  I didn't want to eat breakfast and had to force myself while wandering around aimlessly trying to get ready for work.

Breakfast was nothing other than boring and redundant, hence why I have no picture.  Don't worry, the lighting would have been horrible for my cereal/pb/fruit mess...and nothing you haven't seen before, I promise.

I headed out into the field and as beautiful and cool (weather wise) as it was...I just couldn't get into it.  Well, until I saw the hawks.  But it was just...lonely.  Normally it doesn't bother me that much having to work for hours by myself and not having a lot of friends around, but there was just something about today.  Hrm...

Anyhow, I had an early lunch as I had to oblige to my growling belly and dove into the plastic I brought to carry my food:

Grapes and a Dark Chocolate Dreams PB sandwich on Sheepherders...plus some kitty grahams in more plastic.  And FYI, when I use plastic bags, they come home with me, into the sink and get washed and reused.  I usually get about 10 uses out of them before the binding starts to get weird and too much air leaks in...go being envi-friendly!!!

The afternoon got better with my last survey as I saw some of my favorite hawks and brought my spirits back up.  On the drive home I snacked on 1/2 a TJ's Chocolate bar, an asian pear and some honey pretzel sticks.

Even upon returning home I was still starving so I snacked on a big bowl on Kashi Cinnamon Harvest Shredded Wheat Squares.  I didn't realize how many of those babies are in a serving but by the time I hit around two...my stomach was happy and content.  Success!

After procrastinating long enough I did Jillian Michael's No Trouble Zones and damned, I'm gonna hurt tomorrow.  Especially my quads and triceps.  Ouch, ouch and more ouch.

But the best part of the night was going to learn about these beauties!!!!

I can't tell you how much I love these little beauties.  They weigh on average about 3 grams, which is about the weight of a paper clip.  They can beat their wings anywhere from 20-80 times a second depending on their size (smaller = more, bigger = less) and have a downward cast so they hover and move air just like helicopters.

Gosh I miss having these guys around all the time like I did in Texas...I just need to get a feeder and sugar water.  Or  move back home where my dad has planted native flowers and bushes that attract them like mad.

Anyhow, the late lecture directly after my workout resulted in me eating my dinner out of plastics, again.

Yes, that's how exciting my dinner was.  And I ate the last two pieces of baked tofu to boot.  But my belly is still pissed because I waited so long to eat.  It happens every time I do that...you'd think I'd have learned by now.  Gah.

Sorry to be a downer, but tomorrow will be a better day!  I hope to start it off on a better foot!  And mindset!

But, have you checked out my FAQ page under the header picture yet?  I was working on it all weekend with the questions I've been asked over the years, but would love to hear if you have more!  Let me know via comment or email and I'll have them up asap!!!

Mentality

What a weekend!  When you fill your time with running, friends, blogging and awesome food, you can’t help but have fun, right?!

Saturday morning was my last long run before the Portland Wine and Country Half Marathon on the 5th!  I am so freak’n excited you have no idea!  I haven’t run a 1/2 Marathon since the end of January in Miami!  Oh how I miss these long races!  I’m so ready for it and going to try my hardest to break the 2hrs that I was so close to last time…only 66 seconds!

And I mean, check out the weather, what better could you ask for?

Sun
Sep 5

Partly Cloudy

72.0°
56.0°

Yay!!!

Anyhow, I started the morning off with my normal pre-race meal of an arnold’s thin, pb and an apple. I’ve had some people ask me why I don’t eat a banana instead like they see most others…and to be frank?  It hates my digestive system after I start running…too much…bouncing, if you get my drift. ;)

 

I had every intention of trying to run slower because well, that’s how you’re supposed to train…get in as much time on your feet, but my body simply does not like to slow down.  It’s actually more painful for me to run slower than to run at a normal pace for a longer time.  It may exhaust me more in a sense, but well worth not having the pain the afternoon and day after.

Anyhow, I proceeded to run 10.4 hilly miles while getting chaffed horribly on my bad from my Camelbak and only needing two Gu Chomps for the whole run.  The whole liter of water was gone by the end though.  Seriously, don’t know how I ever ran w/o water or fuel.  I was seriously nuts.  Absolutely crazy…or stubborn.  Or diseased.  Combo maybe?  Yes… I finished the run in 1:37 and wasn’t pushing it too hard so I know I’m gonna break 2hrs next week!!!  Now I just have to hope everything runs smoothly so it happens!

After a nice 1/2 of stretching and showering away the salt that caked my face, I was ready for some fuel!  I mixed together a scoop of PB and Chocolate Spiru-tien, frozen banana, water, and ice and topped it all off with some cereal…freak’n tasty, thick and awesome!

I spent the afternoon chilling out and napping…with the intention of going to a park concert but ended up veg’n out and barely moving off my couch.  No hate, cause I snacked on this all afternoon…yes, I ate the whole bag of natural popcorn and pluot.

 

After having so much sweet food throughout the day all I wanted was veggies! I roasted up a butternut squash, mini potatoes (red and purple), and two types of squash to go along with tomatoes, cucumbers, spinach and chickpeas to round out the dinner. 

Best.Dinner.Ever.

 

I had some TJ’s Chocolate pudding for dessert with some crushed cereal before crashing out for the night for an early morning of work!

Work came too early this morning…and it was COLD!  Ok, it was 45F but there was a nasty wind chill and it was seeping into my core.  So what better than to turn back to my nice, warm oats!!!???  Oh yes how you fill me so…pb, bananas and rolled oats.  With cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger.  I love adding different spices to my oats!  Tasty!

Can you see the cold in my face?  Oh yes…wind blowing over 40mph…ahhhh…only to have more tomorrow.  Yes.

 

To keep my frozen spirits at bay and my stomach from eating itself I feasted on a Brownie Zbar, also while avoiding the red ants and wishing there was a Starbucks barista around to make me some tea…

I got home around 11 but my bestie and others arrived at the same time so I spent the next three hours chatting, sharing and trying to sooth my poor Honey from being batted in the face by my bestie’s cat Louisa.  And now she’s terrified of laser pointers.  Poor baby…she will still barely come out of my room she’s so scared.

You can bet I was starving by the time they left so I threw together leftovers for dinner to sooth my aching belly.

Cantaloupe and strawberries?!  Oh yes…juicy and sweet.

But the wrap was the picture of the meal. 

 

• Laughing Cow Cheese
• 1/4 Avocado
• 2 Slices of Baked Tofu
• Butternut Squash
• Squash
• Eggplant

I took a nap, finished up work and tried to convince her she wouldn’t be beaten up again.  Oh and I went shopping for a foam roller and some more field pants.  Why the foam roller?  I’m afraid to say…but my calves are in such horrible pain today that I’m afraid for them.  I had this problem years ago when I trained for the San Diego RnR Marathon which resulted in tears all over my calve muscles, debilitating my training and keeping me from running the race.  It takes a very very long time to remedy so I’m hoping I just missed that area for stretching yesterday but I’ve rolled and fingers crossed it’ll be better tomorrow…I really hope it’s not as bad as I’m putting it out to be…((shiver))

I walked around a bit to stretch them out a little and ate a bowl of cereal…and three mini yorks for snack.  Chocolate always helps the pain, right?

Dinner came all too late as I was hangry by then and ready for food!  To begin with, the last farmer’s market plum I will get until next year…boo.

And then more vegetables!  Grilled on the stove top!

Oh look at that steam…and the portabello mushroom, farmer’s market squash (you know what is the best thing about those squashes?  No wax!  I swear I can taste the difference!)…all paired with some Italian flavored quinoa, mozzarella cheese and a few pieces of leftover butternut squash.

I’m trying hardest to incorporate grains other than bread into my diet (sadly still a fear food) and I have two more servings of this quinoa to get me through the week…suggestions of what else to do with it?  I’m thinking cold vegetable salad with some edamame and corn (like succotash, which I’ve never made myself but had a few times!) but that’s all I got…oh…patties would be good!

Dessert was some TJ’s cat grahams and chocolate chips while watching Princess Diaries…I love these cheesy movies!

[[Side Note: Mentality

This is a two part series about mentality and I want to talk about the dieting mentality today.

Yes, I just said “the D word” in that context.  It’ll be a goo post though, something to provoke your comments!

I must confess, I still have that mentality.  As hard as I thought I had kicked it, there are still things I think all the time that seem normal only because I’ve gotten so used to it, but they’re not.  What are these thoughts you ask?  Let me divulge…

• I still consider some food safe or unsafe.
• I still consider foods good or bad.
• I still consider days good or bad.
• I still count calories and worry about the number.
• I still worry about how thin I may or may not be.
• I spend too many waking hours thinking and worrying about food.
• Calories are not what fuel me, but what will make me fat.
• Exercise it to change my body for looks rather than strength, and burning calories.
• There is still the all or nothing strategy.
• Unhappiness is abundant.

Now as I listed this out I know there are many more, but many of them have slowly disappeared over the years.  But it’s hard for me to realize that I still hold that mentality after so many years of believing I had gotten rid of it and recovered.

I realized though, as hard as I try to get rid of them, THEY SURROUND ME.  I was going through some of my fitness magazines to recycle and they are covered in titles like, “Lose 8lbs in One Week!” “Reduce Inches with Three Easy Moves!” “Eat This and Lose Weight” “Are You Eating the Right Foods?”  I mean, how do I walk away from it?  As much as I could stop subscribing to these magazines they also boast ideas about how to improve your happiness, social life, fashion, etc.  But even then, there is still the tv. Like those Reebok or Sketchers commercials about toning shoes?  Please…Bobbi and I think they are fill of it…!

And even though there are so many commercials, ads and books about dieting and all these things included in this mentality list, there are also commercials by companies like Fruit of the Loom (Go to Our Day Job Tab for commercial) that seriously, almost brought me to tears.  To me these were such real looking woman …the message gives me goosebumps.  It inspires me too…along with the sweet messages, words of wisdom and courage all you blogger bring to the blog world.  You help me believe I’M FLAWLESS. :)

What do you think about the diet mentality?  How have you escaped it?  What have you found ad wise that contradicts this mentality? 

And because you are, tell yourself YOU’RE FLAWLESS!!! ]]

I Accept

...you low pressure system that is going to bring the weather this weekend into the mid 70's and 40's at night.  That enabled me to run at 9am this morning without feeling like I was going to pass out just walking.

Please, stick around as long as you want.  I will happily oblige.

I had some work to do this morning before my run for work, and got most of it finished up while I feasted on the breakfast I've been waiting for all week: YOGURT!!!

I have been craving some yogurt for over a week now but I'm too damned cheap to pay over $1.50 for a single serving container of greek yogurt...and this week I finally gave in and just bought some plain organic 1% yogurt to suffice.  Definitely not as great as my Oikos of TJ's GY but I'm not going to be picky!  I mixed mine up with a nectarine, strawberries, blueberries and some Apple Cinnamon Granola by Attune Foods (which btw is freak'n awesome!!!).

I went on a nice steady 5 miler this morning with my friend and returned with the intention of doing some abs but...fell asleep on the floor.  I didn't sleep well last night, resulting in feeling tired and having a very stiff neck!

By the time I cleaned up I made a snack plate for lunch with lots of goods:

I'm sure you can tell what's one it.  Vegs, hummus, pita.  Nice and simple.  And rounded out with a white peach that was practically the size of my head!

Since I had a weekday off I headed off to the DMV to renew my driver's license (and get a new picture, it's almost 10 years old! OMG so young looking!) only to find out that it's closed.  Freak'n A!

I got home and did some reading for work and snacked on a chocolate chip raspberry muffin with some cantaloupe.

And there was an apple and some honey twist pretzels about two hours later.  Lunch just wasn't enough to hold me over after that run!

After working on some updates for the blog I finally settled on dinner that I had been thinking about all day long...

Cheese, Pepper and Chick'n?  This wasn't as good as the original that I made in TX last year...but it was good enough!  It was just missing the honey flax waffles I used to get at HEB...oh man.  Instead I used the samples of Multi-grain Arnold's Thins I got from Foodbuzz and can't wait to show you the grille recipe I've got coming to you this weekend!  Yay!

And of course my night doesn't go without dessert:

TJ's chocolate pudding with smashed up TJ's pb pretzel nuggets?  What more could I ask for!

I'm winding down my training for the Wine and Country 1/2 Marathon in NINE DAYS so I'll be running a nice 10 miler tomorrow morning and enjoying the rest of my weekend with my new book and my bestie, whenever she gets here!

~~

Insight: Day 7


Favorite cover of your favorite song:  I don't know that any of my favorite songs have been covered...so I don't know that I can really answer this one! And believe me, I've thought about it all day long!

Do you have a favorite song that's been covered?  Maybe I like yours and I just can't think of it!


I swear I have a Side Note sitting on my brain that I want to post about but I'm uber tired so I'll leave it for this weekend or later.  I'm sure there are other more fun things you'd rather be doing than reading my blog!

Have a great weekend!

10+105

Wondering what those numbers are?

10hrs of field work.

105 degree heat.

It was definitely a long and hot one! Glad that's over and we've got a cooling trend coming...think mid 40's at night and low 70's this weekend!  Woooo!!!

Alas, the weekend is almost here!  At least I started today off right:

Another bowl of overnight oats for me!  Almost the same as yesterday with a 1/4C rolled oats, cinnamon, ginger, vanilla, water, banana, peach, blueberries and a big blog of naturally more pb!  Yeow!

Thank goodness this was filling, since field work took all morning and afternoon, so I only had an apple around 11 and didn't get to have lunch until 3pm! Yikes! You can be as soon as I got in the door I was in that kitchen.  High temps equal cold lunch!

Frozen mango, frozen blueberries, water, cheerios, pb...so tasty...and eaten far too fast to trigger that I wasn't hungry anymore!  Thank goodness I stayed busy or I would have eaten more of my kitchen!

Luckily I had therapy and talked about my little incident on Sunday...it definitely made a difference, but of course I wish the even never happened in the first place!

I've got some guests coming this weekend so I hit up the last farmer's market of the summer and the grocery store to make sure there was something other than cheerios, kiwis and tofu in my kitchen and fridge.  Oh, and mustard.  Yes, it has been that kind of week!

Even though it had only been three hours I was starving again!  So I made an awesome sandwich on the BEST BREAD EVER:

That would be the bread that upon opening the bag, automatically transports me back to summers as a kid, out on the lake with a fishing pole, running around in the dirt, gazing up at the milky way from the middle of a parking lot...and so much more.  I sure do miss Mammoth.  I definitely want to take a trip up there before the end of the year.  I mean, how could you not want to!?  Look at it!

It is heaven in the mountains, I promise.

Oh wait, I was talking about food right? Haha...my sandwich Sheepherder's Bread was filled with a chickpea mix (beans smashed with garlic powder, pepper, and balsamic) with laughing cow and lots of veggies.

And a nice side of cantaloupe.  The mix might have been heavy on the garlic...

And to round out the long day I settled with the sweets:

(An extra handful of cereal might have made it into my mouth.  Or two.)

Nom oh hell freak'n nom.  But probably no where near as good as Mama Pea's Vegan Reese's Blizzard.  Ok...this officially makes me uncreative! LOL!  But I know you want to try hers...who wouldn't?

Insight: Earliest Thing You Can Remember

This one is pretty hard...as I really don't know.  I have memories of things from an early age based up photos, but otherwise I don't really have an "earliest memory."  But I suppose if I had to really think back...it would be to my living in St. Louis, MO.  I was only there for a short time as a child...but the one thing I remember was the rock wall near the front door.  Like literally, a wall that had sharp jagged rocks pocking out of it.  I'm guessing whoever built the damned place didn't' consider kids living there...because I remember my parents constantly reminding me to stay away from it.  And I remember how ugly it was.  I wish I had a picture to show you!  I'm sure I fell against it more than once rough housing w/ my brothers...but that's for another day.  Oh, and there was the smell...I don't know how to describe it by I remember the smell of that house and get a whiff of it every once in a while...

What's your earliest memory?  And is there something that brings back childhood memories for you?

Time

I need more of it, that's what I need.  Oh, and eyes that won't dry out and eat filled with dirt.  Don't ask.

Oh what?  You heard I got another flat tire?  Oh yes, yes it happened again.  #3 in less than a month.  No pity, I'm now a pro at changing tires is all!  Watch me un-torque those lug nuts!

So...hello!  Thank goodness this pretty face comes out to greet me every day I come home.  Until she starts chewing my ankles and swiping at my face.  Yes, she's got an attitude, just like her owner.

This morning was another early one:

I think I've become more of a sunrise person than sunset.  Maybe I just need the beach again to like my sunsets again...Oh to be a west coast girl.  Cali love!

And what else to do that watch for birds and fill my belly?

I totally forgot how much oats fill me up, like instantly.  Not the best feeling because I need to eat a substantial amount as I can't eat very often while out in the field.  It may seem like I can, but my food is literally slammed down my throat in like, 10 seconds flat.  Not an easy task, or fun, or clean.  Haha...I'm a slob...anyhoooo...I mashed up a banana with some USVAB, 1/3C rolled oats and cinnamon last night to soak everything up.  Then this morning I added some Naturally More PB and 2/3 of a peach I brought along.  Twas the best breakfast I have had in a very long time!

After finishing up some surveys and being felled by a flat tire, I returned home in an awful mood...nothing better to perk me up than fruit and homemade goodies!

My camera ate my afternoon photos except all the kitty ones...so I'll share those instead.  Besides, a boring pb sandwich and bowl of cereal aren't as cute as this!

We napped away part of the afternoon (sorry people, but getting up at 4.15 is a hard thing to do, even when you go to bed at 9.30!) and after deciding it had cooled down enough, I went for a run...and noticed there were some pretty big clouds in the sky.  Oh boy!

I ran 4.71 miles in 42 minutes, which is much better than I thought since I felt super sluggish!  The thunder clouds brought in the humidity which wasn't all that bad but when I saw the lightning striking, the thunder clapping, and a fire erupt from a strike, I was trying to haul my butt home!

Honey thought it was fun to watch...I thought she'd be scared.

(Sorry, blogger won't let me rotate the picture.  Oiy).

I had the same dinner as last night, just a different fruit:

And now I'm trying to finish up work before another even earlier morning tomorrow.  Oiy.  Thank goodness the weekend is coming and so is MY BESTIE!!!  Yay!!!

[[Side Note: Time

I had a Side Note on my mind after reading this post by Mish and this one by Katie, but I gotta get to bed.  Read them and enjoy...I'll be writing about them soon! ]]

Realize...

Something about yesterday's entry left me feeling...odd.  I don't know what it was, but I laid in bed for what felt like forever just feeling, off.  And then I realized there was something I had written the other day that was sitting on my shoulders trying to say something:

"My paradise would include all my friends who smile.  All the people who I love and laugh with.  All the family that support me and take the tears away from my eyes.  All the apples and honeydew I can handle.  Chocolate of course.  Birds (all sizes and colors).  Lots of sun.  Love.  Joy.  And happiness."


So, what erupted from this paragraph?


I wrote this wishing for this to be my paradise...but who says I don't have this already?  That I'm not already in paradise, I just refuse to see and accept it?  Because I truly have all these things, all these people, all these feelings...now I just need to embrace them. 


Just something I realized that I wanted to share with you...and how the Insight's are helping.  


Happy Wednesday.


P.S. I've discovered I have bad tired karma...I got another flat today.  3 in less than a month.  Really?

Fighting Back

[[Side Note: Fighting Back


I have an inner demon that rears it's head pretty high every once in a while.  And as weak and miserable as I feel, I fight back.  The Demon says one thing, and I scream another.  It likes to think it's always right, but I know it's always wrong.  This is what it said on Monday, and this is how I fought back...


"I wake up miserable.  The first thing that presents itself is, "I feel FAT."  WAIT.  Five steps back, "You can't feel fat.  What's going on?"  Well, "I feel like...so many things.  I'm putting anxiety over anxiety and making everything worse.  I'm failing at what I'm supposed to be good at."  Ok, "So, run through your emotions, run through the feeling and figure out what's really bothering you."


Initial thought: I feel fat.


Real thought: I feel...

• lonely = not many friends, not social
• like a failure = eating is whacked out, can't control and just eat when hungry
• rejected = I can't catch a boy's eye.  If I do, he turns the other way.
• displaced = No friends around that are my age, all are married and have kids.
• disheveled = Nothing looks good on me, my hair is officially uncontrollable and a mess.
• not good/pretty enough = My clothes don't fit, I have no fashion/design sense, my body is soft/pudgy, the mirror shows the errors of my actions

I feel...lost.  As much as I feel found with so many revelations, my heart is still wandering around aimlessly through the world with the feelings that no one cares (even though I know they do).  Why can I not believe that people love me for who I am, my vivacious spirit, unique environmental and avian antics, and smile when I laugh?  My sarcasm, dry humor, dedication, passion and just...being me?  What is so bad about being me?  Why is it so horrible?  Because you're not as pretty as the next girl or surrounded by boys?  Well you know what: Maybe she thinks the same thing about you.  maybe she wants that kind of laughter you have with your friends, maybe she wants to get outside, be dirty and enjoy the wind in her hair...maybe she wants to really be you...so then what?


There is something about taking time to think things over when you feel upset.  I got through dips and falls like this but I always come out better on the other end.  It takes time, like this one, a day or so, but in the end it's ok.  I hate that I even have to go through these periods, but I'm learning, and healing.  And that's what my blog is all about, right?  Oh helllllll yeah.


How do you fight your demons?  Well, I really hope you don't have any in the first place, but how do you fight back? ]]


Today, was such a better day.  How could it not with this kind of morning:

Now that's what I call a good morning.  I had originally packed a smoothie that was defrosting in my lunch bag, with the knowledge of the days temperature getting up into the hundreds...but it wasn't quite that hot at 6.15am.  So I swapped out breakfast with lunch (apple and pb sandwich), which was just as good and sufficed ok.

You can bet though that as soon as that sun came up over those hills it was blazin out there!  Standing around in 100+ degree heat w/o any shade is harsh.  I drank more water than imaginable...and needed even more.  It was off the hook.


I did have a morning snack of a piece of blueberry walnut bread and some cherries, but was too delirious from the heat to take a picture of them for you.  You can see it from yesterday if you really want, it's not that exciting.


Hours later I was starved for lunch and what better than a 1/2 defrosted smoothie to help cool me down!?

I got home to run some errands and had the intention of doing a speed workout, but with the temps as high as they were and the fire that is burning like a monster to the West, I decided to opt out of it and do something inside my nice cool apartment.  I fueled up before with a bowl of cereal and some cantaloupe before getting my core kicked by the man in P90X.


I have never hurt so bad in my life.  Ok, that's an overstatement; it was definitely hard though and I was still sweat'n balls in the apartment!  One day I'll have ripped abs like that man...ok, not.  Just to be toned would be fine with me.


I think she wanted in on the action too.  Or she's jealous of my mad skills:

After cleaning up I started on the marinating tofu I had going along with lots of veggies to make an awesome stir-fry for dinner!

It was deliciouuuuuuus.  Along with the very tart plout from the farmer's market:

There was only a bed of lettuce underneath that, and I needed carbs, so I snacked on some honey twisted pretzels afterwards.  Tasty tasty.


Tomorrow's gonna be another scortcher!  So I'll be out the door earlier than you can say, WHAT?!  And I'm supposed to be getting my computer back and WORKS.  Yeah, we'll see if that happens.