Sorry I don’t have a normal food post for all of you today. I had lots of time to think, or course (what day don’t I?) and couldn’t help but realize how much I’ve missed out on in life because of one thing or the other, mainly because of my eating disorder. I feel like I’ve lost out on so many experiences, meeting new people and trying new foods that I can’t help but feel sad…but then realize how much I’ve changed and can take the time I have in the future to make up for lost instances…
Have you ever had a time where you thought you missed out on something? What would you do differently so you could experience it, and what would you want to do?
14 comments:
I think about that all the time in regards to my eating disorder. I wonder how different my life would be now if it hadn't happened.
But I've found there's no use dwelling on the regrets when there's a life full of excitement still in front of me. I just need to remember to live it to the full the best I can and never go down that slippery path again.
I know my life would be so different without an ED, but you know what? I'm happy right now, and that's all that matters. ED or not, the past six years would have had good times and bad, and though the struggles might have been different, I still would have had things to overcome. Every experience leads to both good and bad things, and I've learned so much about myself in the past few years. There are always things I could have done differently, but I try to focus on taking each day as it comes so I won't miss out on any more opportunities :)
Melissa,
I often feel the same way.. that I missed out on a lot of opportunities to meet people and have fun... have a somewhat "normal" life of enjoying time with friends and not constantly worrying about things related to food/body/exercise. I feel sad too, but at the same time I know that I have grown so much and that I can always start now. I focus on the present a lot more now and what I can do to achieve the things I want now. I am in the process of making more friends right now... rediscovering myself. I feel like I can relate to you in so many ways. You are an inspiration. :) Thank you<3
-Angela
I totally agree with you--when we restrict, we not only restrict food but we often restrict love, experiences, connecting with others, and so on. Good luck with your continued recovery!
I truly believe everything happens for a reason and that we learn from each and every experience-- it only helps us work towards a more fulfilled life-- a better one in which we know ourselves a little better. I try SO hard not to think about the 'what ifs' 'coulds' and 'shoulds'. there's just no point in obsessing over that which we can not change.
life has a way of working itself out. instead of looking at everything bad or you missed or isnt the way it shoul be or was planned, but accept it, take it in, and move on. its something you cant change now.
ha, very buddha of me, but 'what you think you become'
WOW I think about that all the time. I also feel bad for how it hurt my loves ones at that time and it kills me. Like you I just need to remember to look forward and think about how far we've come:) YOU ARE AMAZING and I always look forward to your posts so so much!!
I felt like that a lot with my ED like missing out meeting friends at a restaurant after work, trying new foods and skipping plans because it interfered with my gym schedule. But it's important to not dwell on that and focus on moving on, I'm happy now. Plus is seems like you have a lot of cool experiences on your blog and not missing out on much with fun weekend plans and races. :-)
man I feel you. There's been times when I don't want to meet up with friends cause I don't want them to see how much weight i've gained or because I don't want to eat out due to my binging a few minutes before. It sucks. That's why SEEING friends is on my top priority right now.
This makes me sad! I, too, have missed out on so much in my life because of my eating disorder. I've come such a long way in recovery but it's so hard not to look back and imagine how my life would've been different had I not been suffering from this disease.
While I definitely can't say that I'm glad you've gone through this experience, I think you have to look at it this way: we are what our experience makes us. Everything you love about your life right now might not have been that way without it. Rather than regretting your past, just look to the future! The fact that you have this perspective now will help every future experience.
I feel like I missed out on my entire freshman year of college because of my ED. I didn't meet people or go out with friends nearly as often as I should have.
But dwelling on it is no use! Through my eating disorder I found out about healthy eating, blogs, and so many other wonderful things. I'm not saying I am glad I had it, but it is much better to focus on the positives!
Remember when you said you were stressed about Foodbuzz because of all the food stuff? Well, I'm glad you went even though it stressed you out.
You have to push through the uncomfortable parts and enjoy life! ED is not invited to the rest of your life :)
I wish I had left my hometown to go to college. I ended up moving from the dorm to my parents house every other semester and gained no independence. It's hard to not to feel like my life would be a lot better had I moved away earlier.
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