[[Side Notes: Dear Mind, Love Your Body
Dear Mind,
It’s that time again, where I come face to face with you to have “the talk.” I’ve been putting it off because I’ve been afraid of you, but I’m tired of it. Let’s just get this over with.
I know you’re mad at me. I know you’re so angry that you’re punishing me. But you have to realize something: I’m all you got. Yep, just me the way I am, you cannot force something onto me that I cannot deal with in a healthy manner or well, that’s just plain insane.
I know you are seeing changes through those eyes I’ve given you and you’re ashamed. I know it’s hard to accept but you’ve got to. I know you’re scared rather than ashamed, but there is nothing to be ashamed of in being a woman.
Yes, the curves have finally, really showed up. Yes, the clothes you’ve had are not fitting like they used to. But it’s time to adapt. Nothing stays the same forever because if it did, how boring would that be? Ok, well other than the natural environment (which you know you want to help preserve with your upcoming fundraiser so duh, you NEED me) change can be good and fun!
I know that it’s been hard lately. You’re body is changing and therefore you have to change the things around you. I know it hurts you that you can’t fit in those AE jeans anymore, but is it really that horrible? It’s like when we were younger and got to move up to the juniors department with all the “cool girl” clothes. Now you’re just moving up to the next level (and see that I didn’t say size) of becoming a woman instead of a girl or young adult. You’re an adult now, and you know it.
I know that there have been more than our fair share of emails that have been nothing short of negative, along with the one heart breaking and horrible comment that brought you to tears, but you have to put it behind you. You have to realize that those people don’t matter. They are mean spirited and if they think such horrible things then F*** them and they can go read another blog. They don’t have to read yours. It’s their choice to move away from something they don’t like.
And you have a choice too. You haven’t been making the smartest ones lately and they’re hurting me. You can see it and feel it and I know it. You’re foggy just as I’m exhausted and it’s not getting us anywhere. The abuse, as mean as it seems to call it that, is just hurting both of us. I don’t want to be beaten up anymore. I want to feel good again.
I want you to be proud of me, not hate the way that I look. I want you to see those legs in the mirror and realize that they took you 10 miles this weekend. I want you to see how in three short months they are going to carry you 26.2 miles on your first marathon and for the environment. I want you to see how strong I am and how I can do so many things for you other than fit into some sort of clothing.
So please see what I see, feel what I feel, and do what is best for us. It will be so much better in the long run. Try to be in the moment, when I’ve brought you out into the sun and wind an stars and are taking you places you never imagined
What would you be without me? Pretty sticky and probably sitting in some sort of solution to keep you whole. Now that’s no fun now is it?
Please come back to reality, we both need it. We both want it and I know it.
Love Always,
Your Body ]]
20 comments:
Really powerful. I hope the exercise of writing a letter to yourself helped! It's hard when you know what you need to do, but still fight it the whole way.
You're beautiful and awesome. Keep that in the forefront of your mind!
I love this. It was so moving.
And I'm so proud of you for writing it. Accepting your body is so difficult but you are trying, you have taken one of many stpes through speaking directly to your body.
It is hard to force our eyes to see the reality and to be proud of our bodies but it is possible.
I truly believe that achieving true body peace can become truth.
I need to write something like this for myself, too! This body IS all we have so we need to make the best of what it does for us-giving us life! Thanks for the courage to write this--I am inspired by your hard work through recovery :)
Thank you for saying everything I need to say to myself. Thank you for having the courage to say it to yourself and the world. You are supported.
I loved this letter. Always remember that you are worth it!
a hundred times "like" this post. Melissa, I love this letter...I think it's such a powerful statement that you're making.
It's a constant tag game between mind and body...It's rather exhasting at first, but once the mind catches up with the body, it really don't need to be so tough.
Curves are beautiful, it's natural. But whatever the case, a body that cannot perform to its potential health is a failed body.
Beautiful post. Agree with everyone else- you are a beautiful and wonderful person. Hope you never forget that :)
Dear Melissa, great honest post. Throw those AE jeans away..that store is for high school kids. Shop at the outlets where I get my banana republic jeans for 20 bucks. Trust me, it'll free your mind and your toned a$$. Love ya lady!
Thankyou
This letter really speaks volumes. The disconnect between mind and body is so difficult to understand. Thank you for this. I hope you find comfort in your mind and are fully comfortable with your body one day... I wish that all for all women.
http://www.endangeredspecieswomen.org
Extremely well said, Melissa!
Love this post :)
Body change is hard to accept, but it's natural and beautiful!
Marathons are intense! Keep fueling that body :)
<3 Haley
I love this post! It's really inspiring and you said some things that I should be telling myself as well. Thanks for the post.
Melissa- YOU ARE AMAZING. I am sort of going through the same thing right now, only I am just NOW progressing into a teenagers body. I am 17 years old, but havesuffered from anorexia since age 11, have only been at a "healthy" weight for about a year now. Andjust like you were saying, the curves are starting to show. It definitely freaks me out, and I have been having a horrible week- beating myself up about it and whatnot. I know that it is the natural progression because I have not recently changed my eating or exercising habits. As a runner also, I need to appreciate my legs for what they do for me everyday, not criticize them.So I just want to thank you SO SO SO much for this post. It was exactly what I needed. I have been following you for quite some time now, and cannot wait for many, many more beautiful posts in the future.
you are beautiful and amazing for the person that you are both inside and out. I hope your mind can decide to agree with all the wonderful truths you already know
Melissa,
I love this letter. I think something like this is something we need to write to ourselves at a few points in our lives! And you did it beautifully!
Take great care,
Joy
This is really amazing and actually brought tears to my eyes. I love how you are so open. This is really beautiful and touched me. :)
i hope your mind is listening!! great great post!
this is shelley! i dont blog anymore but i was findinghappinessandhealth if u remember, and i just wanted to say that this is rEALLY powerful. I have the chills. I'm younger than you, but i have gained back pretty much all the weight ilost when i became anorexic. It is REALLY hard but i try to remember that having curves is a good thing and i am healthy! which is the most important thing. It is so hard and every day I have to deal with my negative feelings towards my body, but this reminded me that you can truly change the way your mind thinks! I hope you can continue to keep this in mind because you are a beautiful person and you deserve to feel that way about yourself!
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